hmmm

After 2 months, me n sam finally meet up..though the time is not long but is happie for both of us..i know is a hard time for him that not meetin me,how much he loves me,miss me i can feel when im wid him..i really dunno how to appreciate everything he did for me and the way he endure me in all kind of things.I do wish i can wid him whenever i feel like,can ask him to come my house when i need him n miss him..but all i wish will not get to happen by now and even the future..parents dun allow me to be wid him,at the same time i know they wont like him as well..although they say that 1 of sis's fren is going to be a doctor and he's not good looking at all but atleast he's those that study type..that's the main point.I believe that's only for now,when reach to to the stage,will ask for more and more to overcome their need.Its so tiring with all these,well..is born to be like this everything in facts are set..that's y me and sam is suffering right now,the less we meet the arguement we have seem more sompare to last time..just hate it so so much..!!No1 can help me,even sis too..these days feel so stress up..when it will gonna end..??pls end it faster and and pray hard everything will be fine..and end up wid peace..plssssssssssss

hard time

Is about 5 days plus from now then will be the final..these days not to say that i dint work hard on it,just there's kind the hard for me though.aunt is at home and in order not t olet her knows then will need to be careful,so i only get to study during night time is the best.Due to this,the time i talk to dear is lesser and i just wish he can understand.Ireally dont wish to ardue with him all the time and the only time we can talk to each other with totally free.Baby,im so sorry..just few weeks later when everything is confirm and done,then everything will be fine.Just need some times to let it work.At the same time,the only way to avoid from mum is go kampar,as i can have a lilttle freedom over there and i believe my life there wont be boring.Well,ben is there..my dear god,may you give me some luck for now..thank you.

with 'him'

Sometimes i think,ever past is past and don't look back for past and look forward for future,then life will not repeated but somehow,human always make this mistake.Just like me,These days been keep in touch with ben..about him,i also what to say just that i use to have feeling toward him,however the feeling did not last long till the time i know he has a gf.Then everything just stop.i think im still young,everything also wanna try..from dunno anything till i know what's makeout..etc.i even did that before with ben before i knew the true.These days my msg with him is totally more than me and dear msg.Well,izit because the relation in between is different,me and ben is friend and me and dear is couple??that's y the feeling also very much different.Some more,i know that ben study at utar,kampar..make me look forward to kampar.i wish i can go there and i wanna go there too.Seem like i make it become complicated but to be clear,i still know what am i doing...

you

After the thing happend,we had lot of arguement..in between maybe mostly is cause of me.I dunno how to control my feelings and express out in a better way..as amy said is true how can the bf will happy when he knows the gf is having prob and is not settle.In the past months,i felt so depressed about the prob and facing parents,in this case i know how important you to me,but at the same times,i felt so sorry to you.Toward you,you need explaination in order to make things clear and more understand,but to me i just wish you're by my side giving me support no matter what i did,even without saying anything or telling.Im a talkative gal but in some ways and some things i dunno how to express my feelings and words that you wanna get.Now,i just communicate with you through phone..and im not sure how long still need to go to pass through,the worry im having i cant get to tell you,even i tell you but you dun get the anxiety im facing.yesterday had another argue with you,am i the one that dun understand or you still cant accept my personality and attitude??

~emo~

Time been passed so fast..year comes and goes,remind me alot of things that are over..like in primary school,high school and now uni..my life keep changing between the years..i dunno what will gonna happen in the coming year but somehow,sometimes i rather im still living in high school life, it was so good and enjoy..havng so much fun and not like now.I really wish that many thing were not happen,i can have a better life.miss those days so so much and no matter ihow much i miss but the time will not get back and only goes on.

Remember that,in primary school,the most happy things which the last 2 years~standard 5 and 6.That 2 years i had a great class teacher,she can be list in my favourite teacher ever till now.After get in to high school,felt so weird and uncomfoetable firstly,but till i met them~vanessa and eemay.Both of them same class with me and i feel much better,maybe the changes of enviroment but not long i get use to it already.Im so glad,being from friends to best friends and share so many stuff together and do so many things together through the high school.Even the time in scouting,get to know all of them and they accompany me to passed my high school life.

Till now,everyone seperate to all different places to continue our education and some even went to oversea.In between the gang,i bet im the worst..everyone seem like having a great time in their collage life and experience a different thing.I ever think that if i was not couple with anyone before then now will it happen me and sam.Do i still dare to go on the relationship with him..??this answer i cant get to know and i wont ever know as well..cause i understand past is past,just im a human,i will get emoonce awhile..this is why this post is appear.

Im not hoping anything but just wish that god will pray for me and save me from danger and all kind of prob..so,i can gte my brand new life in the future..god,do i deserve another chance for a better life and save from what i go through now..??wish you hear me..